‘I’m running out of data, would you mind texting me?’ Not the greatest pick-up line, but I’ll tell you it worked. My boyfriend Kevin and I connected online in late October and we met at a diner in early November of 2016 for our first date. Over a year later, here we are. After about 2 months of dating I moved to Myrtle Beach for my first job out of college. At first, both of us didn’t like the idea of a long distance relationship because we just met, but we decided to go all in. Now that I am looking back (and we’re still long distance) I can only be grateful for the unusual way we started our relationship because the Lord had greater plans than both of us could have imagined.
From the Ground Up: One perk to us starting our relationship as long distance is that the foundation was built on the Lord. We both depended on Him for strength during this season of our life… and still do. We didn’t have other aspects of life getting in the way of determining whether we should stay together ie. just to HAVE a bf/gf because we were lonely or the physical relationship aspects. I always thought people were crazy when they talked about their relationship in the form of a triangle….the healthy kind though. When two people’s eyes are fixed on the Lord they will be brought closer and closer together.
(I attached a visual for those like me who need to see what I’m talking about lol) While we go through trials and tribulations, our foundation is as solid as a rock, which makes long distance a little bit easier and purposeful.
Somethin’ to Talk About: Since my move sort of expedited our dating process, it really got us talking about the important things. We asked the hard questions to make sure that we would be able to see ourselves together later in life. Once I moved and Kevin and I grew to know each other, we were forced to talk. That sounds like it came out wrong, but it was incredibly intentional. Since we we aren’t able to spend time together physically we’d FaceTime every night to the point that we had to find ways to keep the conversation fresh. It helped us get to really know each other by constantly communicating.
Dirty Laundry: Before I met him I had such a hardened heart about dating and relationships, between the way I was treated by men or the way that I treated some men. It’s important to note that I have had my fair share of broken hearts, but I also accept the fact that I may have been the cause of heart break due to my actions. As much as I try to forget my past, it is easier said than done. Being long distance really helped me separate myself from my past because this was a new experience that I’ve never had before. I had nothing to compare it to and I was able to look at the whole situation with a fresh perspective. It seemed to clean the slate no matter how destroyed I believed it to be.
Take it Easy: Our long distance relationship forced us to take it slow. (LOL I know i just contradicted myself but it’s true!) In Christian culture today, it’s not rare for couples to be engaged after the first year of dating. Not to mention as a girl who grew up on Disney movies, I’ve always dreamt of my fairytale ending of finding ‘The One.’ Societal preconceptions can rush couples into doing some crazy things. If you’re one of those couples, I give my props to you! For the ‘late bloomers,’ you’re not the only ones! Honestly though, I hate the term ‘late bloomers’ because God’s timing is the perfect timing, so you’re not even late! Being long distance really helps us view the timing of our lives differently. We know that God is in control and we are just enjoying the rest of the ride.
All Over Me: One of the obvious reasons is that the physical temptation isn’t as hard to avoid. Don’t get me wrong; it’s still there. We’re so used to being apart, so when we are together our “to-do” list is long and we preoccupy ourselves with activities that don’t revolve around Netflix and chilling. We are out and about doing things which helps us to not be tempted with alone time by ourselves. But, when we are in the house I can’t even tell you how many times we’ve played card games just so we had a distraction. We’re not perfect, but being long distance has given us the ability to not be so focused on certain aspects of our relationship and helps us put the emotional side first. Plus it put such a special emphasis on the time were able to cuddle or kiss or even just hold hands. Since we don’t get to do it often we value it so much more.
A lot of things I touched on in this post are about perspective. It’s all about the way you look at it. If you have a hardened heart and complain about how much the distance sucks or how you are consistently missing your significant other maybe it’s time you refresh your perspective. How are you going to learn and grow if you don’t trust that the Lord using this time for a purpose. He is growing you, and teaching you, and He is with you. Don’t forget that!